The Tamesis
As a veteran journalist (and The Cut’s parenting columnist), Amil Niazi has made a career out of being the person you turn to for advice on balancing kids, work, relationships and all the other aspects of your busy life. What’s so appealing about her new memoir? life after ambitionHowever, it definitely avoids prescriptions.
Niazi is refreshingly candid about her ordeal, having spent much of her life trying to do things the “right” way – a life she’s given up in favor of a lighter, less career-focused life since the pandemic hit. However life after ambition No clear conclusion provided; Niazi tells her story In media resources, Readers are invited to work through the whole mess with her—which feels like a gift in this age of tender-nurturing TikTok and over-saturation of general advice.
Here, Niazi speaks Fashion On embracing the concept of “enough,” what she hopes her three children can learn from her work, reliving her own childhood in her writing, and more.
Fashion: I know that’s the point of your book, but…how did you find the time to write it? life after ambition Juggling work and three kids?
Amir Niazi: It’s not easy! When I told my agent, “Oh, by the way, I’m pregnant,” she said, “Well, when are you going to write this book?” I was like, “I’m going to write while I’m pregnant.” Yeah… no. I felt so nauseous, nauseated, vomited, exhausted, but I did write in between naps, during the school day, and at night. I spent about a month and a half power-writing while my husband was on paternity leave and he would take the three kids out for five hours a day while I was able to finish.
To you, what is the difference between toxic ambition and the simple act of wanting something and trying to get it?
This is a good question. For me, the ambition that has always motivated me is a relentless, never-ending pursuit of more. It’s not goal-oriented, it’s just: “Keep going, keep going, keep your head down.” No promotion is good enough, no raise is good enough. I’ve always felt that, as an ambitious person, it’s morally right to never settle, no matter how good the stuff you have is. Now for me, ambition can be a tool to get somewhere, to get something, to get to something, but there is a finish line – where there wasn’t before.
Have you used anything to replace the old achievement framework?
The idea I’m using enough For myself. Can I be satisfied? Can I be satisfied? Is there a point where I’ve acquired this thing and now I can enjoy it? It’s not something I’m used to doing, or even know how to do, so I’m still figuring that out. But I do think I’ve had enough now and it feels really good and I’m happy to be enjoying it. That doesn’t mean I no longer have the desire, but I think I’m more focused on it.
What surprised you most while writing this book?
I had this expectation, especially when writing about my childhood, that I was away from a lot of those feelings, so it was really easy and straightforward to write about them. But of all the heavy stuff I encountered in the book, the one that actually affected me the most, made me the most emotional, and got me through the hardest times, was the depiction of my childhood. This was all thirty years ago, but it just goes to show you how much of this part of us lives on the surface. As a parent, I often revisit that part of me, but writing this book forced me to go deeper into those feelings, those hurts, and those joys in a very profound way that really surprised me.
