70 Thoughts I Had While Rewatching ‘Carol’

I could live to be 100, and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of one of my most cherished Christmas rituals: revisiting Todd Haynes’ 2015 masterpiece carol Surround yourself with as many gay people as possible.

However, this year I will do my best carol Rewatch Solo for News Service, So I Invite You to Be My Gay Mispoca As I learned about Carol, Theresa and their forbidden lesbianism in 1950s New York:

1. “The Weinstein Company launches…” 🙁
2. Does the squeal of train brakes sound so cheerful?
3. God, I’ll never forget watching this movie on the Metrograph a few years ago before Christmas with just about every other lesbian and bisexual person in New York.
4. Sandy Powell is obsessed with these costumes.
5. Not to mention the script by Phyllis Nagy!
6. Listen, random bro, Therese is busy being slutty in that 60’s classy and suave way. She doesn’t want to go to your random bro party!
7. Oh, I thought maybe she would?
8. I know Teresa’s single girl apartment is supposed to be depressing, but I love it.
9. imagine a mad Men In this crossover drama, Don Draper drunkenly stumbles into Theresa’s department store, buys Sally a last-minute Christmas gift, and is angry that he found a woman in New York who won’t sleep with him.
10. This is Carol!
11. Wearing a red hat and fur, looking very sexy!
12. I love Teresa’s sad-looking little Santa hat.
13. “I was wondering if you could help me find this doll for my daughter.” Whatever you want, Carol! As you wish, Carol!
14. Let’s be honest, a train set is probably what lesbian kids want for Christmas.
15. I mean, I personally want dolls, but then again, I’ve never really been a she/them in STEM.
16. WHO like Wrapping gifts?
17. As Theresa talks to Carol, the “Mama’s Baby” doll is displayed behind her…art of the highest order.
18. “I like this hat.” Haha.
19. I wish meeting women was still as easy as leaving a glove at the workplace.
20. Please only describe me as “movie asshole”.
21. This is actually a very nice Letterboxd handle.
22. Hey, that’s the guy with the square jaw obvious child!
23. Ah, being a straight white guy in the 1950s, getting drunk on the street and arguing about HUAC.
24. Not that Carol’s daughters Lindy and Teresa have the same hair!
25. The human psyche is fascinating.
26. Why is everyone in this department store so mean?
27. Well, to be fair, I think Christmas is a tough time of year for retail workers, especially in the 50s when you basically made a penny and a cigarette for a day’s work.
28. “Creamed Spinach, Poached Egg and Olive Dry Martini” is an order I desperately need to place in a dark restaurant ASAP.
29. Ideally there would be a beautiful MILF across from me.
30. Wait a minute…am I officially out of Teresa’s time and into Carol’s territory?
31. I’m 32 years old! Too fast!
32. Carol is basically not saying “can you host”!
33. Sunday is the most lesbian day of the week, fight me.
34. “You’re such a weird girl. Thrown out of space.” I’m dying!
35. It’s Sarah Paulson time!
36. Two turbaned medieval embankments, traveling freely through the city…ah, to be a part of it all.
37. I must say, Haji’s mother looks good.
38. Everyone, leave your depressed 50+ year old husband now! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
39. What does this person do in the company? new york timesexactly?
40. Shut up, Haji!
41. Why did the other kid give Carol the stink eye?
42. Ah, the classic Christmas sound of sexy piano.
43. “Invite me over.” Exactly! ! !
44. I am the president of the Haji Haters Association.
45. In the 1890s, or when Grandma Jennifer was born, were people really called Jennifer?
46. “You married a woman like me.” Get him, Carol.
47. I just love Theresa’s little knitted pom-pom hat.
48. Oh yes, we love the 1950s lesbian cruise.
49. I really want to meet Redhead Abby, who is following who owns a steakhouse in Paramus.
50. “I’m talking about serious redhead Rita Hayworth.” Haha.
51. Lesbian road trip sequence!
52. Abby not taking Haji’s bullshit is an extreme vibe.
53. Why do men always show up when you least expect them?
54. This is a good reminder to never put up with boring, bland politeness from a man, especially in a steamy queer romance.
55. How do I get this solid white three-piece luggage set?
56. Wait, haven’t they had sex before?
57. Oh, this is so exist.
58. Ugh, I hate this part.
59. A fling can be fun, but when push comes to shove, all you really want to do is call your queer bestie for help.
60. Carol, remember this next time!
61. Obsessed with the not-so-easy relationship between Abby and Teresa.
62. Yes, Theresa! Paint that apartment! for new york times! Get your life!
63. It’s 9:57 AM and I’m craving red wine and mashed potatoes
64. I love seeing Carol fighting for herself!
65. In court, too!
66. Either way, or in arbitration!
67. “What use am I to her, to us, if I live against my will?” Yeah.
68. Check out Teresa’s cute little career girl hairstyle and suit!
69. How to resist the temptation to move in with Cate Blanchett?
70. Oh my god, what a perfect movie.