54 Thoughts I Had About Season 3, Episode 3 of ‘Euphoria’

It’s time for the wedding of the season—and no, not Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s wedding, but the cursed one Euphoria Nate and Cassie’s sweetheart, Cassie has been doing her best all season to only make it affordable for the fans. (Am I the only one still bothered by her wearing a dog suit to the tune of “Puppies in the Window”?)

Here’s a list of every thought that came to my mind while watching Season 3, Episode 3 Euphoria:

1. Wow, Jules without pants smoking a cigarette while drawing female nudes is awesome Portrait of Burning Woman.
2. I love that Jules has new, exciting friends who aren’t from high school!
3. Even though they led her to a life of petty crime through eating candy.
4. As Jules said, “Anything is better than retail.”
5. “I don’t usually do this kind of thing,” says every client who does repetitive work.
6. Relatively speaking, I guess being obsessed with nylon isn’t the worst thing.
7. “That’s why you have no pores. Never went through puberty.” Vomited.
8. It’s a corny chaser!
9. Living on $750 a month…oh, the diva.
10. This reminds me of Adam girls “My grandma gives me $800 a month, and I subsidize it myself,” he said.
11. Oh my god, Hunter Schaeffer is so beautiful.
12. Well, really put “plastic surgery” in “plastic surgeon”, no?
13. Rosalia!
14. Wearing a sexy little spiral fringe bikini!
15. Rue explains how guns… drama-nuclear.
16. Oh, it turns out to be a pig!
17. Well, I thought the shot of the stripper covered in pig blood was very Tarantino-y and unnecessary.
18. Unfortunately, Laurie says “you are my perfect little baby” to her parrot the same way I say to my dog.
19. Cassie and Nate’s concept not only invites Rue to their wedding, but gives her a plus…
20. Maybe if they tightened up the guest list they could afford nice flowers without the need for OnlyFans!
21. Just saying.
22. oh, God yeswe were delighted to see Maddie appear at this wedding, looking extremely inappropriate and sexy.
23. Cassie is in Wiederhoft and has a track record.
24. Speaking of looking gorgeous but not wedding-ready… Ladies and gentlemen, Jules!
25. I mean, dress nice for your former secret hooker’s son’s wedding, right?
26. Do people still hyperventilate into paper bags?
27. Oh, here comes Lexi! Wearing the worst outfit ever!
28. make it happen three This was one of the worst dresses ever because the bridesmaids all wore the same thing and I honestly expected nothing less from Cassie.
29. This mother-of-the-bride monologue ends with Cassie’s mom hissing “You are my masterpiece,” and it’s so awesome black swan.
30. Wow, I can’t believe they actually got married.
31. Haha Maddie two seconds after I wrote this: “I can’t believe they actually got married.”
32. That’s my spiritual twin!
33. Rue wears that outfit a bit like a service, even if it’s a bit miami vice.
34. I’d love to see her in something like Thom Browne, but of course, that wouldn’t be on-brand (or in her current budget).
35. BB’s midriff-baring maternity clothes are everything to me.
36. “I just hope people don’t think I’m a pedophile.” Um… don’t sleep with minors? As simple as that!
37. This is McGrady’s slander! I won’t tolerate it.
38. “Don’t you think you still have such a lavish wedding when you owe so many people money?” Say it, Natsu!
39. OMG these horror movie close ups of Casey and Lexi.
40. “I do no Wanting to downsize” feels mentally related to lies big and smallof “I will no Not to be rich. “
41. Cassie clearly walked away crying during this elaborately cheesy wedding dance, which was crazy.
42. How long has Rue been driving?
43. To quote Cher Horowitz’s father: “Everything in Los Angeles takes 20 minutes!”
44. I’m glad I’m sitting on the couch now instead of attending a wedding of a toxic couple.
45. I mean, diva, no one told you to invest your kid’s college funds with idiot Nate!
46. Is it necessary to say “gun” when you’re holding a gun?
47. Lexi, confirmed virginity!
48. “It’s better than herpes.”
49. I mean…depends on who you ask!
50. Cassie wearing a veil in the limo is just killing it.
51. “I’m going to have sex with you. If I can.” I mean, we like consent culture and all, Nate, but… ugh.
52. Granted I’m not a bird person, but that was a very cute parrot.
53. Oh Vee, can’t say I liked the beating scene, although Cassie freaking out with a nosebleed and her husband getting kicked out in the background made me laugh out loud.
54. Rest in peace, bird.