The Tamesis
Like everyone else, I was attracted to FX Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. and Caroline Bassett. It’s not that I believe too much in the Camelot dream, or that I have any real memories of New York City in the ’90s (Jenna Maroney, via 30 rock Voice: I don’t remember because I was too young! ), but because I couldn’t take my eyes off the gorgeously elusive, chain-smoking, cool-girl femininity that Sarah Pidgeon’s Carolyn embodied (that is, until the media started chipping away at her, but I digress).
in episode four love storyAs she dodges a phone call from John F. Kennedy Jr. (played by the shockingly sexy Paul Anthony Kelly), her friend Narciso Rodriguez coyly asks her, “Block his calls. What, did you read that in a book?” rule Or what? This idea—that there was some sort of organizing principle behind Caroline’s “exploit his insecurities” mantra—piqued my interest, and before I knew it, I was deeply immersed in the lore behind 1995 . Rules: The time-tested secret to winning the heart of your Mr. Right, A step-by-step manual for finding the warm glow of opposite-sex love, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. Now that I’m single and somewhat reluctantly putting my theoretical bisexuality into practice, it felt like the perfect time to see if this book still had viable advice in the age of app dating. (Fein and Schneider’s early follow-up didn’t even have a hint of CBK relevance Online Dating Rules: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace Slightly less attractive. )
To be fair, I’m not sure rule It made sense even in the mid-90s, and they were definitely not feminists. (Fehn and Schneider encourage readers not to talk to men first, not to stare at men, not to talk to men too much, not to call them or call them back too often, and certainly not to rush into intimacy.) But after a decade of being queer and four years in a relationship, I’m ready to accept being “a different creature,” so over the past week I’ve tried to put rule To test.
I’m a devoted reporter and I dutifully dragged myself to my Sunday night Hinge appointment (back Covering the 2026 Academy Awards, take note: Where’s my Pulitzer Prize? ). This was no ordinary date either, but my first date with a cisgender, heterosexual man in about ten years.
nothing inside rule I had two glasses of orange wine at the bar before your date arrived, so I was obviously doing this to calm my frayed nerves. Then, when he showed up, I started breaking almost every rule Fein and Schneider had laid out, including not talking to him first (I hate awkward silences!), not speaking Dutch (when I went to get my third bottle of wine, I reflexively asked him if he wanted a beer and he drank it with me!), not opening up too quickly (I don’t exactly remember, but I guess I talked a lot about my childhood?), and, of course, the biggest sin of all: “Don’t do it” wasn’t just a casual kiss on a first date. “
I’m too ladylike to reveal more, but suffice it to say, did end this date (instead of the first; another rule No no) invite this guy over to my apartment where I have my little mean dog – who is clearly more of a rule— a bigger follower than me — barked at him for a good 20 minutes, and then I poured him water from a wine glass, like the domestic goddess that I am. Then, as soon as he left, I felt like I became a Cathy Cartoons. Does he like me? Will I ever see him again? If I ruin any chance of being properly chased by throwing rule Despite my best intentions?
