The Tamesis
Let me tell you a story: A girl from a small town outside of Boston started posting clips of herself singing online, then headed to the bright lights of New York City to study music. Then, angry at the show’s strict restrictions, she quit, and around this time, her songs—early ’00s pop-R&B nostalgia with sharp, emotional lyrics—began to take off, inspired by her high-concept (if still very DIY) visuals that paid homage to the singing competition show she grew up watching. She moved to Los Angeles, signed a recording deal with Mark Rosen’s major label, and released her first record to an enthusiastic response. She then embarked on a sold-out tour with stars including Olivia Rodrigo, Addison Rae and Troye Sivan among the crowd. As you can imagine, this girl must feel like she’s on top of the world.
But for Eli, the 25-year-old musician at the center of this story, the speed of these changes has also brought some hard lessons. When we contacted her in late March, as her current tour dates were coming to an end, she admitted to the expectations that have been weighing on her since the release of her debut album, stage girl, Last October. A few weeks ago, she was considering quitting music altogether.
“Well, not necessarily quit music“,” she corrected herself as she zoomed in from her home in Los Angeles. “But I do think, Maybe I just wanted to be a songwriter. I forgot what I was doing it for, like loving songwriting and truly believing in the power of pop music. I feel like my control on all of these things is starting to loosen, and I feel like other people are holding on to it too. “
So what has changed? She credits her audience with the joy they feel during her performances. “I fully realized the most important part of doing this, and why I’d always dreamed of doing it – and why I wrote a piece of music called ” stage girl— just being on stage, in front of people,” she said, twirling a strand of her hair, which was accented with millennial platinum blonde highlights. “It re-instilled in me a belief in pop, in music, and in my songwriting ability. I just have to keep focusing on the community I started to build for myself and keep it as my number one priority. “
it yes Yet, it’s surreal that less than two years ago, Eli was an unknown musician sharing snippets of her songs on her TikTok, where she posted under the unforgettable handle @JournalOfADoll. One imagines that it would be even stranger to experience something like this. “But I feel better,” she noted. “I don’t want to quit anymore. I love being a songwriter, but I also feel like I’m an entertainer now — and I’m having a lot of fun.”
