The Tamesis
“Is everything okay?” Lively allegedly asked Swift toward the end of her Eras tour before Lively filed the lawsuit. “I’ve been feeling like a bad friend lately because I’m such a sad person and have only talked about shit about myself for months. You’ve been generous enough to not only be my go-to person through this whole process, but also to let me off the hook. But I still feel like something might not be right.”
Lively continued: “If I did something unintentionally, I always want the opportunity to be a better friend. I know how busy and taxed you are physically, emotionally, and practically, so I no longer expect anything from you.”
According to court documents, Swift responded an hour later: “You’re not wrong, but it’s not a big deal. I guess I’m just exhausted in every aspect of my life, and I feel like the way you talk to me has changed a little bit in the last few months. Yeah, there’s a lot going on, Justin, But I’ve been through this before and I know how consuming it is. It’s more like… It’s really hard for me to say this because your text messages are so bad, but your last few… feel like I’m reading 200. A large collection of company emails from employees.
“It feels bad to criticize in any way the way you’re dealing with what you’re going through, but I just kind of miss my funny, dark, normal-speaking friend who spoke to me like herself,” Swift continued. “I know you feel attacked from all sides for ridiculous reasons, so you feel like you have to over-explain things…but. It’s me! It just creates a little distance. You don’t need to apologize. Please come back.”
“I’ve been texting, like writing,” Lively admits, speaking quickly and directly about her role in the pressure. “Not like I said it. I didn’t realize it until you pointed it out, but I get it. On top of that, I overpackaged simple things because I felt so deeply misunderstood that I no longer trusted my own judgment of myself… This damn guy and what he did to me gave me an identity crisis. Legit. Still, the thing that scares me the most in all of this is not the bad guys. It’s the good guys, my lifelong friends- Ally women — they dropped off quietly, so I probably went too far with the friends who stayed because I’ve never felt so alone.”
It’s clear that both Lively and Swift are careful to avoid hurting or angering each other, while also acknowledging that the rift is real. They don’t shy away from the awkwardness, but they don’t react defensively either, each recognizing the broader context that shaped the situation. Swift was open about the fact that she was withdrawn and gently explained her reasons, while Lively acknowledged the change in her behavior. Swift had space to express how much she missed their friendship, just as Lively had space to reflect on the friendship she’d had to let go. This exchange feels even more effective in the face of a tough court case that’s coming to an end.
