The Tamesis
Reality TV romance scandals show no signs of going away. Three weeks have passed since this was confirmed summer house Co-stars Amanda Batula and West Wilson are dating, but headlines about the couple still keep popping up.
The origins of the drama were relatively simple: Batula was close friends with Wilson’s ex, Ciara Miller, another member of the group. summer house Throw. Matters are further complicated by the fact that Miller was treated poorly by Wilson and confessed as much to Batula. Beyond the simple fact that Batula violated girl code, there were racial dynamics at play: As a black woman, Miller was subjected to racist abuse after dating Wilson, who is white.
While I have no experience with the latter to draw from, I’m well aware of the complicated and often confusing feelings that arise when two friends date the same person. That’s because my first serious boyfriend—the first person I said “I love you” to, the first person I lost my virginity to, the first person who broke my heart—dated my (former) best friend before me.
Sadie (not her real name) and I have been close since our freshman year in high school, when we bonded over our shared interests. dawson creek and McDonald’s chicken nuggets. We sat together in every class, called each other every night, hung out at the local downtown every Saturday afternoon, and rented a teen romantic comedy at Blockbuster to watch in her bedroom.
As students at an all-girls school, we were sorely lacking in male attention that it wasn’t until we started going to an independent club night, where status checks were very lax, that we started socializing with peers of the opposite sex. It is here that we first meet Tom (also not his real name). He was tall, blond, confident, a year older than us, and owned a Citroën Saxo and a pack of 20 Marlboros. He was almost immediately smitten with Sadie, who had Liv Tyler-esque elfin beauty: freckles, blue eyes, and pale skin. They went to the movies several times, kissed in a corner of a nightclub and chatted late into the night via MSN Messenger. Then, about six weeks later, Tom and Sadie ended—a affair that started and ended just as quickly.
At one of our favorite club nights, I was still talking to Tom, enjoying the back-and-forth banter as before – and soon I noticed he was paying more attention to me. He would compliment me on my outfit or my hair, or ask if I wanted to have a drink at the bar or share a cab home. Sadie and I had never competed against boys before because we didn’t know boys. But one night, cheap sambuca sapped my reserve, and Tom and I ended up kissing. Sadie sees this happening and immediately leaves – not in tears, to be exact, but…shocked.
I was horrified by her reaction, knowing full well that this was a very scary thing to do. But the following Monday at school, she shrugged. “I ended things with him,” she said.
On the surface it was permission, and I began to swoon. It’s that intoxicating first love where one minute you’re talking about baby names and the next you’re screaming at each other over imaginary indiscretions. He was the only one I could think of and talk about. Unsurprisingly, this put a strain on Sadie, who initially just rolled her eyes and pretended not to care, her pride obviously badly hurt by this development.
